Custom Made: Believing in one's self

ELEMZ HOPE FOUNDATION

30^TH Jan 2017

YOU ARE CUSTOM MADE; BELEVE THAT!

She asked them who is a girl child, they all knew the answer but none of them answered, why?

I watch Jennifer a lot as I am sure most of you do and regardless of her grammatical errors there is something that should be noted and taken from her character ‘Confidence’. ‘Jennifer, have confidence in yourself’ is one of the best advice Toyosi gave to her and it changed her perception and dreams in many ways.

Confidence according to my best bud Google is gotten from the Latin word ‘confidere’ which means to be sure, to believe in, to have full trust in one’s self and one’s ability. Growing up I didn’t have a lot of confidence in myself. I didn’t even know what that word was and it affected me in a lot of ways, I was always behind in class because on tests I always second guessed myself to the point where by I would write down my friends answer which mostly turned out wrong, when my teacher asks the class a question, I would mutter the answer, someone would pick it up and receive my applause. This is the same problem girls have this days, they don’t know what they know, and if they do, they are not sure enough to say it. According to a study carried out at the University of Melbourne, kids who are confident early in life usually succeed in their workplace in the future. The Elemz hope foundation is all about giving hope to the Girl-child, telling her she can succeed but first she has to believe she can and most times she doesn’t believe she can. So you can see the need to address the issue of Confidence.

Confidence is knowing what you are good at, the value of what you provide and acting in a way that shows to other that you know, confidence is not to be confused with arrogance or ego. It is been sure about yourself in a realistic and secured way, it is not about feeling superior to others, and it is a contained knowledge letting you know you are indeed capable. Confidence is a mindset, people that are confident usually are much secured, and they usually can rely on their knowledge and skills and strength to be able to handle whatever comes their way. Unlike people that dodge test and exam they usually feel ready for everyday activities be it for test, exams, competitions, house chores and so many other things. They think I should be able to do this not I can’t do this. Lack of confidence can hold people back from reaching their full potential.

Having confidence in one’s self helps us feel ready for the life ahead. Life is tough for girls already and there are always going to be a lot of NOs , high hurdles that blocks our way and opportunities that look scary and quite frankly as girls we might feel weak to continue but with our confidence intact we are more likely to move forward and grab opportunities, and try again and again. It is not just okay as a girl to have dreams; you have to have confidence that you have what it takes to achieve those dreams. You have to always remind yourself that ‘Yes, you can and Yes, you will’! Build a positive mindset and shake away self-doubt. Whatever activity you want to partake in, be it house hold chores, school work, a personal hobby, push your limit and equip yourself to surpass that limit. Always tell yourself that you can do it and sometimes a small crippling thought tells you can’t, it makes you feel inferior and unprepared, it is normal. What you do is to shake it off like Taylor Swift said.

“Never compete with others except it is a healthy and friendly competition”. Instead compete with yourself, try as much as possible to do better than you did yesterday. Remember that always competing with others to make yourself feel better is a sign of weakness and a confident person shouldn’t indulge in that level of pettiness.

Know your strength, and develop them. Do you like to talk, do you enjoy cooking and cleaning, do you like numbers, do you do a lot of drawings, and are you comfortable arranging things? Whatever it is, build on it. Identify your weakness, work hard to improve on them and use them to your advantage.

Read your books, stay ahead of school work. I watched a quiz competition and the coach said that her girls stay prepared so they don’t have to get prepared. When you are always prepared, your confidence will be top notch even with anything impromptu or if anyone asks a question, you would always have an answer.

Remember that everyone has failures, strength and weakness, everyone is beautiful in their own way, intelligent in their own way, unique in their own way, the mistake we make is trying to hide who we are or wear someone else’s character or been in constant competition with other girls. All you have to do is be the real you and watch your confidence grow.

Every once in a while, you would feel low, insecure and inferior and it is okay but you have to remind yourself that you are awesome, if that doesn’t work. Call somebody that you can talk to be it a teacher or guidance and counselor, a friend or a sponsor and be opened with them or drop us a direct message on any of our on Elemz hope foundation social media accounts. Instagram handle: @elemzhope, Facebook page: elemz hope foundation, or call any of the listed numbers there.... We are always here.

Then remind yourself again about your strength and how you are going to change the world with it.

Remind yourself that Folorunsho Alakija was told NO countless times and her confidence didn’t waver, she still built empires in Oil and Fashion, she is married, she has children and she still constantly appears on the ‘rich’ lists

That Ibukun Awosika wasn’t discouraged at the first sight of trouble, she didn’t limit herself because she is a girl, she made it a point to discover her strengths and she used that. Now she is a force to be reckoned with in banking and guess what?   Furniture

What about Mo Abudu?.. She is what you would call a Star girl in the media sector. She had ideas and regardless of hurdles, she brought those ideas to life.

That the great Oprah Winfrey was fired from her first job and now you can’t talk TV without talking about her

That Toke Makinwa lost her parents at a young age and she developed herself to become a media personality and an author.

That Omotola Jalade Ekehinde the wife, the mother, the actress, the singer, the philanthropist didn’t always have it easy, the breadwinner of her family then died when she was still so young, she had to struggle and things were difficult but she didn’t lose her confidence, she didn’t run back into a shell, she got up owned her aspirations, believed in herself and then went ahead to get everything she wanted

That J.K Rowling, the author that wrote Harry Porter wasn’t mental stable but she picked herself up and proceeded confidently. Other names worty of mention includes Agbani Dorego, Aisha Augie-Kuta, Arese Ugwu, Betty Irabor, Florence Adepoju and Ifeoma Fafunwa and the list goes on….google them, read about them and be inspired.

Breathe in Confidence and Exhale Self-doubt and self-pity and go get it’.

References: Skills you need, n.d.; Buzz Nigeria, 2015; Make Africa Great. 2016